Up close and Personal

Its a beautiful day!!! Don't let it get away!. The lyrics of this song make me reflect on how it really is a a wonderful life despite the issues and slaps life comes with. Even when things aren't' what I want them to be, each day is special. When surrounded by love,God,family,friends and hope. I love, enjoy and live life one day at a time. Call them Selfies and throw back shots.

Life Boomerangs and Deeps

Ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad times, it’s all part of life. Nature has always displayed this duality in terms of its cycles.

The first thing to do is to just to realize that such is life. You WILL have cycles of highs and lows. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. It’s just how it is.

The second thing to realize in relation to that is that it happens to everyone. Nobody is immune to it. Everybody experiences it, even if they don’t necessarily show it.

The third thing, and probably the most important point to get down is that it happens for good reason. We need the fluctuation. It helps prepare us to weather and learn from the future highs and lows that we will inevitably experience so we can understand how to get back to our equilibrium quicker.

The first low of any kind always feels the worse. The first time you get laid off, the first time you get your heart truly broken, the first time you utterly fail at a particular goal – it hurts bad.

Really bad.

But we inevitably learn how to get back to our equilibrium in time, even if we feels like we never will.We slowly pull ourselves up with our own strength. We get help from those around us. We learn and devise our own tactics and techniques to help get us back to equilibrium that we can later use in the event we find ourselves in a similar situation in the future.

The first time a person gets really depressed, it’s a big shock to their system. It’s a big low time in their lives. But they inevitably climb out of the pit with the help of deep introspection and reflection, meditation, physical exercise, proper nutrition, a helping hand and a listening ear from partners, friends and families, etc., and with all those tactics and techniques, they subsequently get back on their feet.

They’re stronger for it in the end and more importantly, they know what needs to be done to get back to their equilibrium quicker in the event that kind of low time happens again.

Now we come to the opposite end of the scale – the highs.

First off, enjoy the highs of life. Just enjoy it. Relax in the moment. Relish it for all its worth.And second and most importantly, don’t get too comfortable.

“The most dangerous moment comes with victory.” And it makes perfect sense when you think about it.”Napoleon Bonaparte

Plans have potential to change with a blow of the wind. Life is uncertain. There are those who fear that they won’t find their true purpose and happiness so they settle for the next best thing. These people live content lives, and they often find themselves filling the void in one way or another. Their lives aren’t disappointing by any means; they just aren’t living to their fullest potential.

The happiest people in this world are those who have earned their happiness. You have to be willing to take a risk. You have to be willing to see the darkness before the dawn.You can’t learn to ride without your training wheels without falling down a few times. There is no doubt that you will have your heartbroken a hundred times after the first. You must experience and recognize the feelings of rejection, heartbreak, confusion, and loss to fully understand, appreciate and hold on to the feelings of true happiness.

We can’t expect a quick fix when it comes to love and happiness. You can’t understand happiness without understanding pain. It is a process, but the journey of finding it makes us recognize how truly beautiful the end result is.

I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows.Drew Barrymore

Stories hold conflict and contrast, highs and lows, life and death, and the human struggle and all kinds of things.David Lynch

Never measure the height of a mountain until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was.Dag Hammarskjold

There are those who fear that they won’t find their true purpose and happiness so they settle for the next best thing. These people live content lives, and they often find themselves filling the void in one way or another. Their lives aren’t disappointing by any means; they just aren’t living to their fullest potential.

The happiest people in this world are those who have earned their happiness. You have to be willing to take a risk. You have to be willing to see the darkness before the dawn.You can’t learn to ride without your training wheels without falling down a few times. There is no doubt that you will have your heartbroken a hundred times after the first. You must experience and recognize the feelings of rejection, heartbreak, confusion, and loss to fully understand, appreciate and hold on to the feelings of true happiness.

We can’t expect a quick fix when it comes to love and happiness. You can’t understand happiness without understanding pain. It is a process, but the journey of finding it makes us recognize how truly beautiful the end result is.

I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows.Drew Barrymore

Stories hold conflict and contrast, highs and lows, life and death, and the human struggle and all kinds of things.David Lynch

Never measure the height of a mountain until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was.Dag Hammarskjold

The Thought of Being a Woman

The thought of being a woman is powerful, liberating, energizing and fulfilling. The thrill is not just in being a woman, but being a woman in the right century! And in this day and age, there cannot be many women, who do not revel in their sheer femininity and absolute power! As we all know, femininity and power, far from being mutually exclusive, are two sides of the same coin. I cannot believe any woman not feeling this great sense of empowerment and well-being that springs from within. The power to create, nurture and heal that is a part of her very being, endows her with unique abilities, positioning her as the center of all existence and change around her.

To me, every woman who is allowed to grow unfettered, exercising her free will, is bound to walk in beauty! What is it that a woman enjoys the most about being the fairer sex? I would say her ability to revel in her power, as much as the freedom to indulge her weakness.

She can enjoy her many moods and feminine aspects without having to abide by adages or the need to be strong all the time. A woman’s intuitive understanding of life and relationships, and her role as the great bonding factor in a family are unique strengths that she does not share with the opposite sex. The depths of passion in her eyes, the wealth of caring in her heart, the power of resilience, of survival are all qualities a woman enjoys, growing more beautiful and understanding with the years. 

 I revel in the sensuous, intoxicating power of being a woman!” Deepika Sahu wouldn’t trade her world as a woman for anything else — a world “so very full of colours, variety, ability/desire to give without calculating, love, sensuality, tenderness, sensitivity… and of course gorgeous men who make me feel like a queen!” 

.” Marilyn Monroe said, “I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I can be a woman in it.” A naughty friend says, “Chuck all that, I love the fact that I can get the strongest man down to his knees in a puddle of desire if I set my mind to it. Why would I want to be that man!” Why indeed! And to support her, here we have it from the Father of all politicians — wily statesman 

PS: Tweenie;-thanks for looking out for ririzmusings.blogspot.com. Bless you gigantically. 

#RirizMusings #Feminism #FortheloveOfBeingaWoman 

Inspiration:Turning 27years

Thank you once again!!

Ririz Musings

I remember it like it was just yesterday.
The conversation my single girlfriends and I would have over and over again.  Whenever one of us had just gone on a first or second date, or had been in a slow moving relationship with the typical non-committal guy we were in denial about.
The conversation always inevitably came around to why hasn't he called?It was always spoken with that combination of sadness and desperation, with a little trace of hope salted in.  We could have had a ringtone on our phones for it.  It was the tribal rallying cry, calling all of us together in support of the one whose turn it was to live it. And then the conversation would begin, with us rehashing every single detail of what we had said and done.  Every possible piece of conversation, body language, tone, nuance, and action was meticulously scrutinized as we tried to piece together the answer to that question that was eluding us once again: why hasn't he called?
And of course, as supportive girlfriends, we would all offer our best take on the situation, usually filled with lots hope, but with a little dose of realism thrown in, trying to make sense of a situation that doesn’t have much sense to it to begin with.

Until eventually, we would run out of possibilities and resign ourselves to either waiting it out some more, or relieving our anxiety by just calling him ourselves.Well, after asking the same question myself more times than I would like to admit, and hearing it from my girlfriends about the same number of times, I know the answer that we all really knew even back then.That the real reason he hasn't called is because this guy is just not that interested.  At least right now. I know; that’s hard to hear.But would it make it easier to hear it if you knew how much the realization could save you so much heartbreak?  Would it help to know that by realizing the truth now, before you put so much of your body, heart, and soul into this relationship, you could save yourself from so much more pain down the road?Because here’s the thing, if he’s interested in you, nothing will be able to keep him from calling you. Guys aren't like that.When they’re interested, they keep trying. Until you clearly let them know you’re not interested – and even then, they sometimes don’t get it and keep trying.

Now I know there are some really, really shy guys out there who you might be thinking are the exception. But if you’re putting out subtle hints to this guy you’re interested in that you really are interested in him, he’s going to get the hint and respond. By calling  you! yo! Even if he’s on the shy side. And with a guy who’s a player, well, there’s no stopping him. In the beginning, he’s calling you … a lot. But if it seems that the calls start to be growing farther apart, be forewarned.Lol That’s a fairly common characteristic with the type of guy who’s broken more than his share of hearts. Just ask all my single friends. But guys just aren't wired to sit back and wait for you to call them. They’re into pursuing. And calling. Because a genuinely interested guy wants to get to know you. He wants to spend time with you. He wants to find out who is this beautiful woman known as you. He wants to find out if the two of you might be compatible. He wants to find out if you’re interested. If he’s interested.

Now, there’s also the chance of the guy being confused by the so-called three day rule, made infamous in the movie swingers. Unfortunately, if he falls into this category it’s a sign of bigger issues, which is a topic for another post.If this is the case, you may want to, one time, explain to him that the three day rule is absolutely ridiculous, forgive him for his uninformed folly, and give him one more chance to get it right.The other possibility is that he might be interested in you, but he might not be interested in a relationship. And that means he might not call right away either.

So don’t take it too personally.

It’s not about you as much as it’s about him being in a relationship in general. Because let’s face it, some guys aren't sure what they want, some guys are a little confused, some guys are a little (or a lot) scared, and some guys aren't mature enough to know what they’re doing. And if you’re giving off the vibe that you’re interested in a relationship and he isn't, then chances are good that he won’t call or he’ll delay calling for a while. But that’s a good thing – because then you know what you’re dealing with.

Do you get that?

You’re being saved from more heartbreak down the road.Trust me on this one - there’s nothing worse than being led on with your full heart into a guy only to find out later you’re both on opposite sides of the page when it comes to commitment. That’s the stuff sad songs are made of. So don’t despair if your phone isn't ringing. Take it as a sign. And if you’re not convinced, by all means, come right out and talk to him or call him if that will make you feel better. To know. He might not be able to come right out and be direct himself, but at least he’ll know for sure where you stand. And if he’s not the right one, well, consider yourself lucky to be finding out early on.

P. S. Just in case you were wondering, while there is a very small chance that the guy that hasn't called is lying injured in a ditch somewhere and can’t reach his cellphone, it’s really quite unlikely.
As much as that might be easier on us if it were true.  

Should You Never Make Someone a Priority?

Ever heard that line, you should never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option? Well, here’s what you need to know about it. By Morgan Miller

When you love someone dearly, it’s obvious that you’ll make them a priority in your life.But what do you do when the feeling isn’t mutual?Well, that’s where everything starts to go wrong in a relationship.

Misunderstandings in expectations from each other are almost always the biggest reason for bad relationships and friendships.

Making someone a priority in your life

Love is a funny thing.When you love someone, you can’t help but open the floodgates of your heart and welcome them in.

It feels good, doesn’t it, when you can truly love someone wholeheartedly?When you’re in a close friendship or a budding romance, it feels good to care about someone.And it feels a lot better when you know the other person cares about you too.

But when the care and concern is one sided, the relationship could start to turn bitter and take a worse turn.

My experience with priorities and best friends

Until some time ago, I had a really great friend. We were BFFs and shared every moment together.

We knew each other since high school, we had even moved in together and were living just like two happy sisters. And everything in my life was just perfect.Now I don’t mean to sound like a braggart here, but I’ve always found it easy to get the attention of the guys I liked while my friend found it harder to get a guy to stick aroundBut I never liked seeing my friend sad or alone, so I started tagging her along on most of my dates so she didn’t have to feel lonely at home. I didn’t care if I lost a guy. If a guy I dated couldn’t take both of us out often or be nice to her, he was out of my life. I was very protective of my friend, and I always wanted to see her happy.I shared all my special occasions with her. I spent months saving up to buy her a perfect birthday gift, and I even dumped boyfriends if she was in a slump and wanted me to spend more time with her every day. It was truly unconditional love, and I didn’t have any expectations from her. In fact, I was extremely attached to her.One day, she met a guy and started dating him. I was over the moon for her and gave her a lot of space to spend time with her steady boyfriend. At times, I even spent nights at another friend’s place just so my best friend could get some quality time alone with her boyfriend.

A few months into her relationship and I couldn’t recognize my best friend anymore. Well, she looked the same, but her behavior completely changed. She stopped calling me over the phone, and would ignore me even if I was sitting in the same room with her. She would snap at me for no reason at all, and she wanted a lot of space to herself. She was aloof and distant, and our relationship changed completely within a month or two. And I was devastated.Even when I tried talking to her about it, all she had to say was “Well, people change, don’t they? Why can’t you deal with the fact that I’ve changed?”She still expected me to do all the pampering, the cooking and the taking care of her, and she even wanted me to buy her things, but she wouldn’t do anything in return for me. In fact, she didn’t even have time for me anymore. And all I wanted from her was to spend half an hour talking to me every day. But she didn’t want to do that.

And in one conversation, she even went as far as accusing me of being jealous because she’s happier than me!My best friend was a priority to me, but it took me a lot of painful tears, long sleepless drunk nights and painful heartaches to realize the fact that I was not a priority to her.And that’s when I realized that you should never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option. I felt betrayed and cheated. And I felt so used because I sacrificed my happiness for her for years, and all she had to say to me was “who told you to do that?!”For the first time in my life, I actually realized how heartbreaking and miserable it feels to be insignificant in the eyes of someone you love so much]

 

You should never make a wrong person a priority

Needless to say, I’m not in touch with that friend anymore. I still care about her, and am filled with affectionate love when I bump into her. But I couldn’t stay friends with her anymore.

But now that I look back at all those years, I realize something. I can’t blame my friend for what happened. I made her my priority and I allowed her to use me. I didn’t care if I was a priority to her or not, because taking care of her needs made me feel good inside.When you love someone as a partner or a friend, you’re taking a risk. Your love may be reciprocated mutually, or maybe it won’t. So if you want to have a happy life, take time to fall in love with someone. It’s the safest way to ensure that you’re giving your heart to the right person.Sometimes, people are just selfish. And there’s nothing you can do about it. But from my own experience, all I can advise you is to avoid people who don’t make an effort to be nice to you. Love and affection should never be one sided. The neglect you feel is worse than the pain you’d feel after a break up

A relationship is a barter system

It’s not about keeping count. It’s about unconditionally loving each other. In a perfect relationship, both the involved people give and take constantly. And that keeps the wheel of love spinning smoothly.

It may be a relationship between lovers, friends, siblings or with parents, a happy relationship is always a barter. But when the scale of give-and-take starts to tip over, one partner will start to feel drained and annoyed. 

Do you know you’re only an option?

In many cases, you may not even realize you’re in an uneven relationship. You may be clouded by emotions, or worse, you may convince yourself that you need to give more to the relationship because your partner is more deserving of love and affection.Relationships works best only when love and affection is exchanged in equal measures.If you ever feel like you’re the one who’s doing all the giving while a friend or a lover is only taking you for granted or using you, back away from the relationship. Walking away will hurt, but it’s still better than having to endure the neglect and the pain of experiencing a one sided relationship every day of your life. 

8 signs you’ve made someone a priority when you’re only an option

If you’re unhappy with any relationship in your life, there’s a big chance that you’re in a one sided relationship. Use these 8 signs to find out if you’re giving someone more priority than they deserve in your life.

#1 They expect you to give, but they don’t give back.

#2 They constantly let you down even when you have the smallest of expectations from them. [Read:

#3 You’re just a backup plan in their life when they have nothing better to do.

#4 They don’t care about your feelings. Even when you emotionally pour your heart out, instead of understanding you or hearing you out, they just argue back or try to justify themselves.

#5 You feel hurt all the time when you’re around this person.

#6 They treat others in a special way and give them a lot of attention, but you’re never given any preference no matter how hard you try to please them.

#7 You’re always taken for granted no matter how much you try to win their affection.

#8 They are completely selfish and care only about themselves. They always put their own needs before yours, and they try to manipulate you all the timeIf you experience any of these signs in a relationship, you’re probably better off snapping all ties with them. But just remember that it’s not your fault that this person is selfish. Sometimes, some people just care too much about themselves to think from another person’s perspective.

Stolen from:-

http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/never-make-someone-a-priority

Pointing Fingures Vs Praise

Criticism sucks a million times as bad as praises gives us good feels.

 One critical comment makes you forget a dozen positive ones. Pointing out a flaw makes the other party sound like they hardly see any good in you. They tend to sound like ingrates.
It turns out this is normal for human beings. Criticism just weighs more on our emotions than praise does. We remember negative events more vividly than positive ones, and we give more emotional weight to a loss than an equivalent gain.

This makes sense from a survival perspective, if you think about it. There’s more urgency to remember dangers vividly than rewards. The trauma of negative events — whether it’s from a pointed criticism or a stubbed toe — teaches you how to stay physically safe and in good standing with the tribe. Positive events are beneficial when you have them, and it’s helpful to remember how you got to them, but there’s no benefit in staying preoccupied with them for a long time.

“Bad emotions, bad parents and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to dis-confirmation than good ones,”
A natural side-effect of this overvaluation of negativity is that we tend to be more passive in life than we would be if we weighed negativity and positivity the same. Bad outcomes seem to promise more in terms of punishment than good outcomes promise in terms of benefit, so it can seem sensible to speak out and try new things as infrequently as possible