Criticism sucks a million times as bad as praises gives us good feels.
One critical comment makes you forget a dozen positive ones. Pointing out a flaw makes the other party sound like they hardly see any good in you. They tend to sound like ingrates.
It turns out this is normal for human beings. Criticism just weighs more on our emotions than praise does. We remember negative events more vividly than positive ones, and we give more emotional weight to a loss than an equivalent gain.
This makes sense from a survival perspective, if you think about it. There’s more urgency to remember dangers vividly than rewards. The trauma of negative events — whether it’s from a pointed criticism or a stubbed toe — teaches you how to stay physically safe and in good standing with the tribe. Positive events are beneficial when you have them, and it’s helpful to remember how you got to them, but there’s no benefit in staying preoccupied with them for a long time.
“Bad emotions, bad parents and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to dis-confirmation than good ones,”
A natural side-effect of this overvaluation of negativity is that we tend to be more passive in life than we would be if we weighed negativity and positivity the same. Bad outcomes seem to promise more in terms of punishment than good outcomes promise in terms of benefit, so it can seem sensible to speak out and try new things as infrequently as possible
Turn up Turn up Ladies and Gentlemen.. My Tweenie toh sure is back on the keyboard grind **Tongue out.. I think it all boils down to the individual.. Many a times yeah, I have been publicly criticized and told very hurtful things, and at a time in my life Bubba, I used to just soak it all in. However yeah, I am learning in recent times to just let it slide like water on a rock and ignore these hurtful words, cause dwelling on them doesn't make me better, so why bother? I mean everyone is entitled to their thoughts about me, and words towards me, but its me that decides if i let those words affect me or not. All in all Tweenie, I am my own Boss, and no one decides my fate. Not them and certainly nor their words (praise or Criticism) cause my Great times make me a better person, and so do my mistakes... Cheers Bubba. xx
ReplyDeleteDuru-the my tweenie; you think everyone is strong and self believing like you? Eh Eh you be there!! lol Parents, close friends when they say those heavy words or those little hurting phrases they tend to weigh us down, boos, gal friends, boy friends you know how it turns out. I don't want make this a post-It is just a comment . Thanks for dropping by always
DeleteWords of the mouth are powerful!words spoken cannot be retrieved therefore we should watch how we talk down on people.becareful before judging or criticizing. Unpleasant words stick more than a good compliment .negative words weigh people down physically and emotionally, only few can grow thick skin.
ReplyDeleteBolateethole.blogspot.com
Feel you doll. So many people "justtalk" with out thinking--blurting words can leave a bad lasting effect on people. Nice blog you got there.
DeleteHIYA!!!! http://duruadolphusjnr.blogspot.com/ bawz sent me here. *waves hands* Nice post I must say.
ReplyDeleteThey say the tongue is boneless, yet it can break hearts. Worse is the ill-treatment one gets from strangers or on first encounters based on what has been said without really knowing one.
Duru boy thanks buddy. They give you a drink. I hate such souls--who draw judgment based on ignorance. I hate them . You just got yourself a new follower.
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