Thursday, April 3, 2014


1.Compassion:The first step to forgiveness is compassion. Pain is not created in a vacuum. Aim to understand how someone’s ignorance or dysfunction drove them to do something that caused so much pain. You’re not excusing it or justifying it, just understanding. Challenge yourself to empathize with the other person’s worst suffering and accept them in spite of it. It will help you better understand the suffering which was placed onto you.

2.Separation: The second step to forgiveness is separation. Separate the person’s actions from their humanity. Understand that what they did was merely a faulty strategy to meet their own emotional needs. Their needs are like yours and mine. The way they went about meeting them was not. They have hurt and have suffered injustices as well.

3.Acceptance:The third step to forgiveness is acceptance. The transgression is a permanent part of you. You can choose to learn from it and become a better person, or you can hold on to it and let it drag you down for the rest of your life. Channel the pain into progress, something positive, something beautiful. Some of the world’s most beautiful art and greatest achievements were borne out of the worst suffering and injustice. Become a conduit and transform pain. This will allow you to become grateful for the experience which hurt you.The caveat to forgiveness is to not forget.And for those rare deeds which are unforgivable: mediate, pray to God, take them to the cross. cease to see the separateness, and let them dissipate in the waves.


  1. I had so much baggage, there is this person I had a thing for, they hurt me and I felt used at the end of the tunnel,deep within me I never thought I would ever forgive them, but then I holding onto that will never make me happy. Swilee lemme go anonymous, I feel more comfortable that way. You haven't posted in along time. Welcome back.

  2. Forgiveness is a sighing act, whether Christians, atheists, pagans, Buddhists, which ever denomination you belong to, Exercising forgiveness in life is paramount. :) Welcome back

  3. Hey Swilee.Waking up to this beautiful piece of work, you don't know how I feel. Thank you for posting.


  4. This is very well put and so true. Helping to see persecutors as victims of themselves helps ease my anger against them. Perhaps the hardest one for me to forgive is myself for things but I am getting better. Great post!

    1. Thanks Rick. I know what you mean,but there is power in forgiveness.

  5. great post.

  6. Awesome post doll! Very powerful!

  7. Yes, nicely said. There's nothing as liberating as letting go of pains and hurt caused us by people we cherish and are dear to our hearts.

    I know it can be frustrating when the offending person is not remorseful about their actions, but we need to let go because of our happiness and peace of mind...

    Thank you Riri for always stopping by my page.