Tuesday, July 25, 2017

This Morning Had The Potential To Get Messy.

I received fantastic news amidst an acrid plight. I was literally seething and it took me 19 minutes to process the good tidings. I was going crook trying to contain the whole situation of my surroundings.

Anger is an excellent impetus for change, however, it’s not the change itself. And once I realized that the people who pissed me off weren’t going to change on behalf of my internal rage with their actions, I realized that I was the one who had to change. I had to reconsider and reboot this precious little gem called perspective—the slant from which I interpreted these people who vexed me off so much.

That process began and ended with one simple question: How are these people any different from me?

Every single one of us is human, and so we’re all more or less alike in our biological tendencies rooted in progress in the face of obstacles—our commonalities under this human condition. And because of this condition, we are unavoidably subject to our experiences; no one and nothing exists in isolation as we’re all affected by everything with which we come into contact, for better and for worse. And though our individuality makes it so that each of us interprets our experiences to manifest in uniquely tailored ways, the purposes behind those interpretations and manifestations all come down to survival. To working with the circumstances and pressing onward, even if “pressing onward” doesn’t manifest in the most beneficial way.

I’ve learned that when people piss me off, there’s no use in staying pissed off at them for more than about a minute. There is, however, a world of good in shifting my perspective to one of compassion, and it goes something like this:

“You piss me off. What you’re doing (obsessing over yourself/committing crimes and acts of hatred/bullying/hurting people/complaining about nothing/seeking power for no real reason/etc.) makes me angry and my insides are screaming at you for it. However, I understand that you are this way and you do this for a reason—perhaps for the same reasons I am the way I am and I do the things I do. We’re different, and so we react to those reasons differently; but we’re the same in that we’re just trying to press onward from wherever it was that something went wrong.”

Anger makes you feel powerful
Since anger can’t *poof* the situation into what we want it to be, we turn toward empowerment. We allow our anger to be our authority.

 See, our need for control is essentially a power struggle with the rest of the world. Our gremlins want us to be in control of everything internal and external. And when we aren’t in control, our gremlins feel threatened, as if someone or something is trying to take away our power.

But superiority is an illusion. We’ll never have it. Which just perpetuates our anger.

So we choose to hold steadfast onto this notion that a display of anger instills power, fear, authority over circumstance and people. And when someone pisses us off, we choose anger as our weapon in a desperate attempt to salvage our self-worth.

Yet we quickly find that anger isn’t worth much at all.

The most powerful thing you can do

When someone pisses you off, expressing anger will not prove your superiority. It will only leave you powerless to the situation and cast you into a deep hole of self-loathing.

But I know something you can do. Something that will make you the most powerful person in your life.

Ok, here it is.

This is the most powerful thing you can do when someone pisses you off:

  •     Don’t think about that person.
  •     Don’t let that person occupy any real estate in your mind.
  •     Don’t allow that person to occupy a vacancy in your thought stream.
  •     Don’t keep that person alive and real in your life.
  •     Mentally let that person go.

We say that deceased people “live on” when we remember them. We visit graves, we play their favorite song, we look at a photo of them.

But they are not alive physically. Their body no longer exists on the earth in the same form as when we knew them. Regardless of our belief of what happens to people when they die, they remain part of our reality simply because we think of them.

Same goes for the living.

Whenever we think of a person, we keep that person alive in our minds.

Therefore, if the presence of someone is weighing on you, release that person from your thoughts. Then they’ll no longer be present.
To be clear, you’re not killing anyone. You are not a murder. I can it a self cleanse.

Okay, just to be very clear to my more literal readers, I’m not suggesting that we kill people in our thoughts.

I repeat: I am not suggesting, insinuating, recommending, or anything else thereof, that we kill people in our thoughts or think about killing people.

Phewks, I think that was a decent enough disclaimer…  

Not thinking of someone releases the control their presence has on our thoughts. And if they aren’t physically present in front of us, then they aren’t actually present at all.

Maybe this is getting too deep, too abstract. I’ll back up.

When you allow someone to occupy your mind, you run the risk of victimizing yourself to their words and actions instead of taking responsibility for yourself. You run the risk of letting that person control the way you feel instead of controlling your feelings yourself.

By releasing someone from thought, forbidding them from occupying your precious mental real estate, you make a conscious choice to block any related incoming or outgoing negativity. You essentially take a leadership role in your life and prevent your circumstances from disturbing your inner peace and self-worth.

The Most Powerful Thing You Can Do When Someone Pisses You Off - Happy Life


Think about how you typically react when you feel angry.

Is your reaction productive? rational? worth feeling that way?

Take some time to really think about how you react whenever something doesn’t go your way. Think about past times when you became angry and didn’t handle yourself well. Then think about times when you became angry or dissatisfied and did handle yourself well.

Think about how you felt in each situation and what you could have done differently. Think about what worked and what you should continue doing.

And above all, think about anger in general and what it means to harbor it.

Think about where anger comes from, where it’s rooted, and why it grows.

And whenever you find yourself getting heated up, don’t think of anything at all.

It’s a beautiful Day


  1. There people in this world you look at and they freaking make you soooo angry that you want to pull out their eyes

    1. I hear you! Erase,bury the thought to the bottomless pit and click next.

  2. soooo on point girl,where have you been Ririgal...i have missed your works

  3. Beautiful piece! sooo deep and mature.