Monday, July 31, 2017

Desolate and Disoriented!

Are you feeling lost and unwanted, like no one cares about you? Hang on. The most important thing to remember when you feel all alone in this world is that it’s a natural – and even healthy – part of being human.
Your “lost and alone” feelings are actually a good thing, believe it or not! It means you’re in touch with your authentic self. You’re alive and real, self-aware and insightful. You’re not stuffing your feelings down or hiding behind walls. You’re actually allowing yourself to be real. It hurts, but being real is the best way to live.

If you’re feeling unwanted and lonely because you lost someone you love, then you need to create a new “normal life” for yourself. If you’re depressed because of a breakup, then you need to rebuild a new life that is more fulfilling and interesting than the one you left behind. If you’re devastated because you were rejected and you really do believe no one cares about you, then you need to take a deep breath and remind yourself of what is true, good, and pure.
This is work only you can do. What was your old life like? It’s time to let it go. What will the new normal in your life be? You can do this – you can recreate your life. And it may be even brighter and more beautiful than you can imagine.

The other day I was at a friend’s for dinner, and I told her that I want to move to a new town. Kampala is beautiful, but it’s crowded and busy. I want to live more simply and quietly.
My friend told me that I don’t know how much I’ll be missed by my friends and community here. I wave her away, saying that I actually haven’t connected with many people at all. She disagreed. She said I really don’t have a clue about how much I matter.

What if it’s the same for you? Maybe you feel unwanted and like no one cares about you…but is it possible that there is one person who really does love you? Yes. It is possible. In fact, it’s probably true. Turn your thoughts and attention towards that person when you’re feeling like no one cares. Soak up her love, and remind yourself that you aren’t alone.

You’re fully alive when you’re feeling alone
The reason you’re struggling with feeling unwanted is because you’re actually tuning in to how you really think and feel. This is painful – but it is the best way to live!

When you tell yourself “no one cares about me”, you’re being brave and strong enough to face your true feelings. Do you know how rare this is? Most of us distract ourselves from feeling unwanted and alone by surfing the internet, spending money, making money, doing drugs, seeking adrenalin rushes. Some of us don’t notice our feelings of being lonely because we’re caught up in our families, parenting, jobs, responsibilities, and relationships. But eventually the distraction is taken away, such as with a breakup or death of a loved one, which I talk about in Words of Comfort When Your Heart is Broken.

You are in touch with your true, deepest, most real self.Something is calling you. Do you not perceive it? You are feeling unwanted and you are acting on those feelings because you have a purpose on this earth. You were put here for a reason, and these feelings that no one cares will help you find your purpose. This is happening for a reason. You found “She Blossoms” for a reason. This isn’t just about feeling unwanted and like no one cares about you…this is part of a deeper, more important calling on your life.

Your job is to keep listening for that still small voice. To do that, you need to take time alone. “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” – Anne Frank.

You will get through this and be happy again!
It’s lonely and sad to feel like no one cares about you. It hurts. Even though I’m an optimist and I always look on the bright side without even trying, I know what it feels like to be alone in this world. It’s a gray, empty, sad feeling. I’m almost always happy, but even I have to admit that it’s terrible to feel unwanted, lost, and alone

Even Happy Positive Cheerful Energetic Me knows that these feelings are heavy, gray, and suffocating. One of the best ways to cope when you feel like no one cares is to remember that these feelings will pass. You will get through this, and you will feel happy again.

If you write about how alone you feel, you may heal faster
Don’t suppress your feelings. It’s not fair – and it’s devastating – that you have to cope with the shadowy side of being human.But you will make it worse if keep your emotions bottled up. Don’t swallow your feelings of being unwanted. Don’t hide the truth. Be honest with someone you trust when you feel like no one cares. And, LISTEN to the response you get. I bet you’ll hear people say they know how you feel, they feel the same way…and they love you.

But, don’t expect people to fill the hole in your heart and soul. Only God (or whatever you call your Higher Power) can do that. He created you, and He knows what you need. Nothing and no one else can care about you the way God does. Not relationships, parents, partners, food, sex, shopping, drugs, Facebook, or even Blossom newsletters can replace what only God can give you.
You can gain strength from an ancient source of wisdom
Turn to Ecclesiastes in the Bible. There’s something comforting in the wise writer’s words, even though they’re full of pain and loneliness! Maybe that’s why it helps. The writer – King Solomon – shares how meaningless life is, how lonely, sad, and alone he feels. He says nothing makes him happy, not money or wine or even wisdom. He ends by saying that the only solution is to fear God and obey His commandments.

Why that makes me feel better, I don’t know…I guess it’s because it helps me see that we’re all suffering, we all go through bouts of loneliness and meaninglessness…even people who lived more than 2,000 years felt the ‘lostness’ and unhappiness we feel. It’s just part of being alive.


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